Nicknames Nigerian Guys Call Girls

Hey my tofu pofu’s what’s going on? 
  

All my single ladies (in Bey’s voice) where you guys at? Just wait, don’t put your hands up yet. I’m yet to clarify something. Till then you may decide to put up your hands or not to (hamlet swag)… so I was going through the news today and came across some articles talking about things that pertain to us girls.

Now, for the past years, women have been likened to many weird, funny,and sometimes sweet things that includes; banana, apple, guava, flower, tomato, potato, Maggi, egg, suya, meat pie, ice cream.. The list goes on. Merely looking at these food items, I’m already asking myself what these fellas were thinking to liken a human being to assorted delicacies. Could it be hunger? This name tagging has been on for decades and even made popular by Nigerian artistes. They do this all the time. And I know it’s funny but ladies don’t lie, how do you feel when a guy walks up to you with a pick up line that starts with; “hey sexy pawpaw”?  Do you go smiling and giving attention? Or have that disgusting look on the face on? 

For the fellas, how in the world do you get “so inspired” to see a pretty girl and classify her under a given specie of fruit?  Like that is all that comes to mind. What is going on? At a second glance, if women are mangoes or apples, what are the men? I’m thinking yoyo bitters, periwinkle or alomo. You can buzz me if you got a better option .

 Meanwhile, I found a typical example of what I’m talking about.It appears that this guy sort of borrowed his logic of women from someone, because I have heard it many times. Now that's bad enough, but that it made the news even makes it worse There it goes;

 "Women are like apples on trees, the best ones are on the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and don't want to get hurt. Instead they get the cold manipulating easier climbs. So, the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top because they value quality away from d spotlight”.

If you cannot look at a girl and think of nicer words, please make Google you best friend. It will give you a thousand and one romantic phrase.Don’t come here calling me “sexy dodo”.